Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
