I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I think I am morally bankrupt
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
