Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
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YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize