so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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