it wasn't lemon gatorade
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
