What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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