jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
