I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
