He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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