Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
