How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.