I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..