you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
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I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I am available for nakedness