are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
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He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?