i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
