i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
