i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
