Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
