I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
