so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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