is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
