She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
