Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize