are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
