i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
