You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
