Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
