I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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