Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
