Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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