So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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