Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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