My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
