I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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