There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
