I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize