they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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