If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
