Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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