HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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