i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
