meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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