Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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