Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
