hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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