She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
