I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
