not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
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Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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