i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I bet he comes in French.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I currently don't understand fingers.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
