Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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