We're facebook friends in real life
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Enjoy the penises
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
