Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
