I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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