Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
