why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
