Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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