PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
