It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
