I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
