Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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