got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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