You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this will be a night to untag.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
