I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
