Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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