Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
