Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
