Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
