dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
