Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
