The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
