is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
