apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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