I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
