My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize